As a pastor who preaches and teaches the Bible, I have to be very careful when it comes to the definitions of words found within Scripture. One of the challenges is that our understanding of what words mean can evolve, which is one reason why modern translators will occasionally need to update the phrasing of the English Bibles. It isn’t that the original Greek, Hebrew, or Aramaic language has changed – those texts continue to reflect exactly what the original authors wrote. However, our use of language has changed, so we revise our words to attempt to retain precisely what was originally intended.
The word “father” was originally meant to reflect the biological male parent of a child. In a biblical context, it was also expected that the father would be husband to the mother, and would therefore be head of the household. This would, of course, bring a host of other responsibilities, such as providing for the family and protecting the family. It also included being the paternal influence in the raising of the children, as a source of wisdom, discipline, and (hopefully) love.
Alas, we live in a fallen world, and death, divorce, and out-of-wedlock births have created a situation where the biological male parent of a child is often not present to raise a child. Out of the need to be precise with our language, we have modified words to accurately describe some of the situations that subsequently arise, giving us words like “step-father” that indicate that the male parent of the child wasn’t the biological parent, but rather married the biological mother sometime after the biological father dropped out of the marriage/household picture. By adding this modifier to the original word, it creates an implied understanding that somehow, the original situation needed to be modified, with the suggestion that the subsequent situation is less than ideal.
I was raised by a man who would be precisely identified as my step-father, who formally came into my life when I was six years old. As a young man, in my stubbornness and childish ignorance, I held onto the notion that our family should just revert back to the original situation. It took me a long time to realize that the modified situation was far superior to the original situation, and I was definitely not the best of sons during those years. Fortunately for me, that man persevered, serving as a loving husband to my mother for fifty years, heading our household, providing for and protecting the family, and raising us kids with wisdom, discipline, and love.
Legally, technically, he was my step-father, but if you look at what a father is supposed to be, he fit the description in every way except for the initial biological act. So, instead of changing the precise definition, I think it best to simply use a different word, one that conveys more warmth than technical precision. Andy was, and always will be, my dad.
If you have been fortunate enough to have a dad in your life, and he is still around, take a moment and express your gratitude to him.
Peace and blessings – Pastor Aaron