Most people are familiar with the commandment that we love our neighbors as ourselves, but have you ever noticed that sometimes, the further your neighbors are from you, the easier it is to love them? Life can get messy sometimes, and there have been times where all of us have done things that we are not proud of. However, usually it is those who are closest to us that know what we have done, and when our deeds make us a bit harder to love (or even like), it is those who are farther from us that remain oblivious to our particular sins, and therefore they are kinder to us. Some may say that it is the case of familiarity breeding contempt, but I think it has more to do with the idea that ignorance is bliss.
However you want to categorize it, what it ultimately boils down to is that it is easier to love someone when you don’t know all of the bad things in their lives. When we only see each other in part, and what we know is the positive side that people want to portray to others, we don’t get caught up making judgements about their character. But if we are only able to love our neighbor because we aren’t aware of anything offensive that they may have done, is that really love? It certainly isn’t unconditional love, because it means that we are only loving the part of the person that we find acceptable.
As Jesus was mere hours away from being arrested and subsequently crucified, he was making the most of his final teaching opportunity with his apostles. “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another” (John 13:34). But what is important for us to remember is that Jesus didn’t know these men in part – he knew them completely. Jesus knew that Judas would be the one to betray him, yet Jesus loved him and even washed his feet. Jesus knew that in just a few hours, Peter would deny knowing him so that he could save his own skin, lying to protect himself even as Jesus was being falsely accused and condemned. Despite knowing their worst failings as men, Jesus loved them to the very end. And then he told his followers to have the same sort of love for each other.
We can’t love others like that if we are unwilling to forgive others for their sins, whether they were sins against us or sins against others. And when we struggle with this challenge of forgiving others, we should ask how loveable we might feel if we had to wear a shirt that listed our five worst sins on the front and back for all to see. None of us is perfect, and none of us is without sin, but we have to be able to move beyond that. True love isn’t loving because of what we’ve done. True love is loving despite what we’ve done. Jesus knew everything that his apostles had done (and would do), and Jesus knows everything that you have done, and he was still willing to die on the cross for you.
Cut those closest to you some slack, and be willing to love them despite what they have done. It’s not just good advice – it’s also a command from Jesus.
Peace and blessings – Pastor Aaron