I grew up in a time and in a culture where swearing was discouraged. Kids understood that they would have to wash their mouths out with soap if parents overheard them. This didn’t mean that people didn’t let loose once in a while with foul language, but usually it was something that directly followed some event that caused pain or extreme anger. While it was also understood that there were various subsets of our nation that used foul language more frequently (anyone else remember the phrase “swore like a sailor”), society in general and the pop culture of the day kept the language relatively decent.
A number of different things happened along the way, however, to change the cultural attitudes toward swearing. Today, with very little of our television programming coming across the legacy airwaves that had been tightly regulated, media producers are free to use whatever language they want to, and they have decided that the dialogue needs to have more colorful language if it is to authentically reflect our society. Instead of having characters swear in response to anger or pain, they just casually drop offensive language in on regular conversations, even when those words add nothing to the meaning of the discussion.
What saddens me about this is that people seem to have forgotten that these words have long been categorized as curse words. There is an ugliness to them, a hardness that conveys ill will towards others. Cursing is the opposite of blessing, and it represents a desire to tear down instead of building up. When you think about these epithets, there is nothing nice about them, so to become so accustomed to hearing them and using them in our own conversation, we are gradually becoming a meaner, harsher people.
It is particularly troubling to me when Christians swear. Jesus told his followers to “bless those who curse you” (Matt 5:44). Paul wrote “Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse” (Romans 12:14). James wrote “Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be” (James 3:10). What all three were declaring is that what comes out of our mouths is a reflection of what is in our hearts, and if we have set our hearts on loving our neighbors as ourselves, then we should not be uttering curses, casually or otherwise.
Hearts aren’t typically hardened overnight – it happens gradually, as we become desensitized to the things that had previously offended us. Unfortunately, our language reveals that, no matter how tolerant we want to portray ourselves as a society, there is a hardness in our hearts and we have gotten very comfortable with cursing. Words born out of anger and pain are not the way towards peace and unity that we so desperately need today. What we need instead is to grow very comfortable with blessing, so that hopefully our hardened hearts can gradually soften and become more sensitive to the beauty and kindness around us.
I’ll let the Apostle Paul have the final word, from his letter to the church in Colosse: “Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt (note: he doesn’t say saltiness; he means in a way that enhances or preserves), so that you may know how you ought to answer each person” (Col 4:6). Peace and blessings – Pastor Aaron