“You never get a second chance to make a first impression.” There are some statements that are hard to argue with, and this is certainly one of those statements. It is true that you only get one shot at a “first” impression, because that is what makes it the “first”. Further, the way that we have been wired as human beings has us being heavily influenced by our first impression. We don’t need to touch a hot flame a second time or taste the sweetness of honey again to form an opinion that will shape our basic understanding of those things. So, we can’t really argue with the validity of this statement. We can, however, contemplate whether or not those biases were improperly formed or should no longer be valid.
There’s a restaurant here on the island that has been operated by the same family since before we moved here nearly twenty years ago, and we’ve been there for countless meals and events over those years. We’ve known the owner and chefs and servers, and we’ve watched them grow and evolve over the last two decades. Yet each time that we would go there, my experiences were shaped by the first impressions formed years ago, of a place that seemed to be doing just enough to feed a veritable boatload of tourists who were coming for the buffet lunch and a tour of the island.
I knew the improvements that the owner had been making over the last two decades, and I understood that as a result of those investments, the experience there today is so much better, yet I was still being influenced by my first impressions. I don’t think that I’m unique in this sort of thinking, interpreting things that are in front of me so that I see them not necessarily as they are, but rather as they have been.
For whatever reason, when my wife and I went to the Old Daufuskie Crab Company for lunch this week, I was able to look at the experience through a fresh set of eyes, seeing it not as it was all those years ago, but rather as it actually is today. Frankly, I’m not really sure how I was able to make that mental switch and wipe clean that slate, but I’m so glad that I did. My first impressions had prevented me from truly appreciating all of the hard work and improvements that had been made over the years, which had, in turn, impacted my overall enjoyment of being there. They’ve done a marvelous job down there, and I’m thankful that I’ve finally been able to see that clearly.
Unfortunately, I know that I have done the same with people over the years, establishing strong opinions based upon impressions formed years ago – opinions that may have been valid at the time but have definitely not taken into consideration any personal growth that may have taken place in the intervening years. I know that I have grown considerably as a person over the years, so I need to be willing to allow for the growth that has taken place in the lives of others, but those first impressions are lasting impressions – even when they are no longer valid. What becomes hard for us to comprehend is that when everyone else sees a beautiful swan before us, but all we can see is an ugly duckling, it is our judgement that other people will begin to question.
Perhaps there are some relationships in your life that you need to be able to see from a fresh perspective. May God grant you the ability to overcome your first impressions, and see things as they have truly grown to become.
Peace and blessings – Pastor Aaron