In a time where it seems like everyone is doing everything to ensure that everybody else knows what is on their minds, I’ve found myself recently thinking about the importance of saying nothing at all. I also realize that it may seem strange to have a post that deals with the notion of saying nothing, because clearly I am trying to communicate something. Yet saying nothing is not the same thing as doing nothing, and there’s tremendous value in understanding the difference, so I might as well say something with the hope of conveying the value of saying nothing.
In the Old Testament Book of Job, the main character for whom the book is named experiences a series of devastating calamities that leaves Job to mourn the loss of his children, his wealth, and his health. As he is overwhelmed by grief, three dear friends of his travel to be with him, and for one solid week they sit in silence with him, supporting him with nothing more than their presence. Not one word is uttered between the group as they observe the weight that is crushing down on their friend, and their willingness to draw alongside him in his misery seems to be the greatest show of support that Job’s friends can provide him with.
For those familiar with the story, you know that where the friends go astray is when they open their mouths. While well-intentioned, they cannot help but provide their own thoughts and suggestions when Job pours out his heart to them. These dear friends failed to understand that the only one who could provide the answers that Job was seeking was God, and therefore their comments were not only misguided, but also painful. Whereas they had provided comfort in their silence, they provide affliction with their words.
Because we live in the information age and it is so easy to voice our opinions, it is almost impossible to stay silent and say nothing – particularly when the world is encouraging us to speak up. And while it may sound odd coming from a guy who is putting his opinions online and delivering sermons every week while also counseling people on a regular basis, following that urge to speak up can sometimes be the absolute worst thing to do. My job frequently requires that I say nothing. I have to focus on listening, resisting the urge to interrupt or provide some premature comment. I have to acknowledge that there are so many things that I don’t know, that my understanding is only partial. And I have to keep things confidential, not even letting my wife know about certain things. As a result, the most impactful moments of my ministry are frequently the times when I am simply staying available, being present because someone is hurting, and not uttering a word.
Saying nothing is not the same thing as doing nothing. In fact, saying nothing may be the most difficult thing to do, but there are definitely times when it is the most important thing to do. May God grant you the wisdom to understand when to hold your tongue.
Peace and blessings – Pastor Aaron