Most of us were taught at an early age to respect our elders. Seemingly regardless of the culture, those who occupy the oldest ranks of our population have been treated differently, recognized by most as tending to be wiser than the youngsters around them. Our elders have been around the block a time or two more than we have, and have therefore experienced more of what life can occasionally throw at us. They’ve gained wisdom through the standard educational processes, but things learned at school have been dwarfed by trial and error in the School of Hard Knocks. They’ve fallen down, gotten up, brushed themselves off, learned from the experience, and moved forward. We should always respect our elders. At the same time, we should recognize that we are on a similar path.
I’m better at a number of things today than I used to be, largely because I have failed or done poorly at those endeavors and then learned from those experiences. We are all meant to be better tomorrow than we are today, precisely because we are meant to learn from today and apply it to tomorrow. This is why our elders, with more days than we have had, have obtained more wisdom. It is similar to the biblical concept of sanctification, which is the progressive work of God in us that makes us more like Christ in our lives. The emphasis is on growth – a progressive process – so that we are no longer who or what we once were.
What is easy to forget along the way, however, is that some of our learning experiences were different than others. If I took a test and performed poorly, I harmed no one but myself, and could study more. If I improved myself physically, chances are that no one else was negatively impacted. However, in the scope of human interaction, my personal growth may have come at the expense of interacting with someone poorly or, at the very least, not as well as I might interact with them now. That person got the short end of the stick while I was being presented with a growth opportunity, and if I were to have a similar encounter with them today, the outcome would hopefully be different and better.
Therefore, how should we behave when we realize that who we are today is a result of growth that came at the expense of others? First, realize that others are going to grow in their lives at your expense, so please try to be patient with them. They may be giving you their best effort at that moment, so acknowledge that their best effort tomorrow will hopefully be better than today because of their interaction with you. But another step you could take, if presented with the opportunity, is let those people at whose expense you have learned over the years know that you see the role that they played in your development as a person. If apologies are necessary, apologize, and if thanks are appropriate, give thanks. But always remember that the growth and wisdom that we have experienced came at a cost, and sometimes that cost was shared by others.
Peace and blessings – Pastor Aaron