I’m sure that many of you have, at some point in your lives, found yourselves standing at the bottom of a hole of your own making. Certainly, that has been my experience (on more than one occasion). Usually the result of poor decision making compounded by a stubborn willingness to stick to a course of action, we have this distinctly human capacity to place ourselves in situations that are both undesirable and completely avoidable, and it really can look like we’re standing in the bottom of a deep pit. Hopefully, at some point, it occurs to us that we would be far better off if we weren’t stuck down where we were.
What I have found to be the most important step to take when in this predicament is to begin by stopping the digging that produced such a large hole. The importance of this step cannot be overstated, but it should be clearly understood that the act of stopping the behavior that got you into a bad situation does not automatically place you in a better situation, and herein lies the problem. Typically, the decision to stop digging wasn’t based on the conclusion that your existing situation was acceptable and that you could live happily ever after at the depth that you had attained. Instead, we stop digging because we want to be back up on the surface, living our lives without the horrible ramifications of being below the ground. However, our situation doesn’t instantly improve the moment that we stop our bad behavior – it just hopefully stops getting worse.
This can be the most difficult time to navigate – the point where you stop digging but haven’t yet figured out how to get out of the hole. You find yourself in a really uncomfortable place where it is so easy to fall back into the very habits that you are trying to break, particularly because the path upward is unclear and unpromised. The easiest thing to do is to succumb to a sense of loneliness and futility, when the darkness of the hole can make you think that escape is impossible, but that feeling arises simply because you aren’t aware of how many people have been in that same hole before and been able to escape it. And many of them are passionate about helping others escape from that darkness and reach a much better life.
There are so many different holes that we dig. They might be financial, relational, or substance related, or something else that we have allowed to create an unfortunate predicament. Please realize that once you cut up your credit card, or step out of an abusive situation, or take your last drink, there are those passionate people and programs who are willing to jump down into the hole with you and help you climb out. You don’t have to go at it by yourself, and you don’t have to be the one to come up with the way out. All you have to do is to accept the hand that has been extended to you, realizing with humility that you can get out of the hole if you will accept the help of others.
If you are in a hole right now, and you’ve made the decision to put down the shovel, please reach out to me privately. For those on island who might need an AA meeting or a Celebrate Recovery program, those opportunities are available to you. If your hole is of some other making, I will work to find the right hands to help you get out. And always remember that coming to church will be where you find the greatest possible hope, no matter how deep a hole you may be standing in.
Peace and blessings – Pastor Aaron [email protected]