I’ve been spending the last few days seeing family and wandering around my childhood home – both the house itself and the town. In every nook and around every corner are memories of people and events long past. Some of those memories bring laughter and smiles, some a tinge of sadness, and some of them I want to forget almost as quickly as I remembered them. For much of my first two decades in life, this home was the setting of so many moments that contributed to the shaping of my personality and character.
Had you asked me who I was back when I was in my early twenties, much of my response would have reflected my home and the influence it had on me. It was what I knew, and therefore it would have seemed logical that my identity would be closely tied to those experiences. But now my life has been flavored with a few more decades of lessons and experiences, and I’ve learned that my collective experiences do not define me. Without a doubt they have shaped me and added to the uniqueness of who I am as a person, so I would not be who I am today without all of those moments. Yet the sum total of those moments and experiences do not necessarily add up to who I am today.
For some who have been taught from an early age that their family name is the most important thing about them, or that where they grew up was the defining characteristic of their life, this may seem like a foreign concept. At the same time, there are many who have grown up under incredibly difficult circumstances who were liberated by the truth that they didn’t have to be forever defined by what had happened to them. And then there are those who have learned that, no matter what they may have done in the past, they can find forgiveness for those things from God and experience a sort of love that they never knew existed, allowing them to be born again with a new identity that defines them from that day forward.
I’m grateful for the experiences that I’ve had over the past 5+ decades, whether they are good or bad, as I can relate to so many different people because of those experiences. But my identity in Christ has relieved me of the burden of those experiences, allowing me to focus on being who I was meant to be. Yes, some of the dumb decisions made in the past may still place constraints on me in the present, but I am confident that the core of my identity is no longer derived from a set of experiences gathered over a lifetime, but rather comes simply from a relationship with my Lord and Savior. For that reason, instead of being ashamed by those things I would rather forget, I can encourage someone who is living with similarly embarrassing memories. Instead of being proud of various accomplishments, I can guide others to put their faith in him who will provide everlasting joy.
You were meant to be so much more than the sum total of your lived experiences. Yes, those shape you, but your identity is meant to be in the one who made you, and not simply in the world which He has made. One provides a temporary identity, the other provides an eternal identity. One weighs you down with both successes and failures, the other lifts those from you and leverages them for future benefit. I encourage you to find your true identity – the one that lies within Christ.
Peace and blessings – Pastor Aaron