I had a rather remarkable evening recently, when Jan and I had the opportunity to go to an historical location for an event that had promised significant insight into that place and the family associated with it. We were in a group of approximately 15, so there were plenty of opportunities to pose questions. While I had plenty of questions for our host, I also had lots of questions for his assistants who were making sure that we had appetizers and drinks when needed. I wanted to know who they were, and why they were working with this particular gentleman, to see if they shared the same passions that our host clearly held.
Asking questions is just a part of who I am. James, the brother of Jesus, wrote that we should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger (James 1:19), perhaps because he knew that we often make improper judgements when we don’t have enough information. People have often equated this comment from James with the observation that we have two ears and one mouth so that we understand that a better ratio for communications is to listen twice as long as we speak. For me, I like to learn, and it is hard for me to learn when I’m doing all of the talking. So, I ask a lot of questions.
What made this evening stand out, however, was that one of the assistants came up to me at towards the end of the evening to start asking questions about me. He wanted to know who I was, and what I did for a living, because he was not used to being around someone who took such in interest in others. Upon learning that I was a pastor, this young man had a number of additional questions that opened up lines of discussion that probably would not have been possible had I not been genuinely interested in his story earlier.
Ultimately, this boils down to the adage that people don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care. Caring isn’t conveyed by sermons, speeches, or monologues. However, caring is quickly conveyed by listening, particularly when people know that you are listening to learn about what matters to them (as opposed to listening simply to determine how to make some brilliant reply). And I guess that isn’t something that we are doing enough of. In this age of selfies and constant posts about ourselves, it is too easy to carry that mindset into our regular conversations. But doing so comes at the expense of learning about what matters to others and growing as a member of the broader community of humanity.
Today, we need to be doing a better job of growing as members of humanity. So, consider spending more time asking questions and learning about others, as a simple act of caring about them as individuals created in the image of God. You may be surprised at how learning about others can enhance your own enjoyment of life.
Peace and blessings – Pastor Aaron