I recently received a phone call that brought me tremendous joy. A friend who has had a very difficult life, including time in jail, had finished the sentence and was back in society as a reformed and changed person. The voice on the other end of the phone was happy and hopeful, taking complete ownership for past mistakes and horrible decisions, and looking forward to a life focused on knowing and glorifying God. Ultimately, it is the choices that my friend makes in the coming days, weeks, and months ahead that will demonstrate the sincerity of the claims, and I will be following closely, but I will be praying that my friend has truly been transformed.
We have sayings and stories woven into our culture that tell us about the seemingly impossible task of changing our behavioral patterns. Most know the saying “a leopard can’t change its spots.” Many are familiar with the parable of the turtle agreeing to carry a scorpion across the river on its back after the scorpion pointed out that stinging the turtle while in the river would result in the drowning death of both of them, only then to have the scorpion sting the turtle while they were in the river because it is the nature of a scorpion to sting. Then we see people who have been caught in their worst behavior, pleading for mercy, saying that they will change – only to return to their same old selves once they get the mercy that they begged for. Most of us have firsthand experience with this, which makes us more inclined to think that these sayings are absolute truths.
Fortunately, I’m in a vocation that is largely about changing human behavior. Our normal behavioral patterns tend to include a significant focus on self, whereas the marching orders for the Christian is that they should die to themselves, take up their cross, and follow Jesus. For the Christian, this is not a formula that guarantees no more stupid behavior and poor choices, but it must mean that a behavioral pattern is fundamentally rewired. The old nature is put aside for something that creates a far better person.
By all means, be wary when someone tells you that they will change, or that they have changed. But at the same time, don’t let your heart be so hardened that you think they will never behave differently. Change, like I am praying is actually happening in the life of my friend, really can happen, and the end product is something that can bring healing and restoration to deep and long-lasting wounds. The burden of proof is always with the one claiming to have changed, and the only acceptable evidence is the passage of time that shows a commitment to a new pattern of behavior. However, if they are able to demonstrate the fruits of a new spirit sufficiently, I encourage you to rejoice, for what was once lost has now been found.
Peace and blessings – Pastor Aaron