With the end of the school year comes various celebrations. Here on Daufuskie, where the only school that we have is the elementary school, we make a big deal about the “stepping up” ceremony where each child is recognized for completing what is required for the current school year and acknowledging that they are taking the next step up to the new grade, or even to the next school over on neighboring Hilton Head Island. We also celebrate those kids who have moved up in those other schools, as well as those who earned college degrees. We’re proud of our kids, and it is important to celebrate their successes. Yet with all of our focus on success, we often forget the important role that failure played when forging their character.
We all understand that the process of learning how to walk includes countless attempts that end before even the first step succeeds. It is a good thing that diapers provide additional padding to the backside of a toddler, because they will inevitably spend quite a bit of time plopping down when they can’t keep their balance. Yet it is through those failures that children learn how to first find their balance, and then gradually put one foot in front of the other. Failure is the teacher, and with persistence, success ultimately is the reward. What is so obviously true when learning to walk holds true in most other endeavors in life.
The challenge for us is that we don’t like failure. Even worse, we really don’t like failure for our children and those closest to us. Our natural desire is to take whatever action that we can to keep them from experiencing failure, since failure frequently has an emotionally or physically painful consequence. We want to spare them that pain, so we do one of two things: we either come to their rescue just prior to the point of failure; or we discourage them from taking risks that could lead to failure. In either instance, we stunt their growth and ultimately deny them the opportunity to have success at more complicated endeavors.
One of the benefits of our community is that we have established a good support system that has given many of our children an opportunity to try new things without fear of failure. Collectively, we’re a nurturing group that is willing to provide spaces where it is okay to push yourself and fall while trying something new, with people who will then lend a hand up and help figure out how to improve for the next attempt. There are so many mentors who have served to encourage, educate, and edify the children here who are willing to learn, and failure is a welcomed part of that process.
Proverbs 24:16 says “for though the righteous fall seven times, they rise again”. Falling and failing has come naturally to us since the day we first tried to walk. Our successes in life come because we learn from those failures to get up and go farther. Therefore, as we celebrate this season of success, let us also remember the important role that failure played. Don’t expect perfection. Just patiently expect to learn from mistakes and then get back up.
Peace and blessings – Pastor Aaron